Okay get this : Poe Dameron does Drunk History (of the Rebellion)

#and then general organa was a fuxkin badass#I don’t remember why#she’s just always the shit#I love her#do you think she’s proud of me?

Poe Dameron, in an extremely slurred voice: “And Leia’s like, ‘help me obi juan whoever the fuck you are, you’re my only—my only—my only ho.’”

[holds up a finger and pauses to drink the rest of his beer]

#OKAY OKAY#‘so then bobba fett shows up#‘on a fuckin JET PACK RIGHT??’#like–WHOOOSH#*knocks over a lamp or some shit*#*falls off his chair*#finn’s like: ‘are you….are you okay’#I CAN DO IT FROM THE FLOOR#‘OKAY SO. HAN’S LIKE#SHOOTING PEOPLE#BLIND#STILL A BITTER–BETTER SHOT#THAN THE REST OF THE IMPERIAL FORCES#(no offense buddy)#with BOTH eyes#ANYWAY#where WAS i??#*makes cooing noises at bb-8*#*tries to wink at finn but only manages to blink*#*curls up on the floor until finn crawls over to feed him space!cantalope*#‘HE JUST LOVED HER SO MUCH YOU GUYS’#finn: ‘it.s….it’s just me here….#SO. MUCH.#SO MUCH#fINN – C'MERE#finn: why?#buDDDY#*cradles finn’s face tenderly in his hand* *whispers* so much#finn: okay. okay. you gonna finish the story now or?#I’M GOING TO FINISH THE STORY NOW!!!